Ring-billed Gulls : Black and White Fire

These are Ring-billed Gulls. There were hundreds, maybe thousands, of them at the reservoir. It was a punishingly cold morning, for me at least. The gulls seemed impervious, easily able to surmount the realities constraining me. My numb fingers struggled with the camera controls. My toes resented my cold boots. And my eyes teared up, perhaps from the cold, perhaps from the powerful beauty of watching these birds wheel through the sky. In this light, the sky was papery gray, and the gulls - white birds! - seemed black as they scrawled across the background. My mind wanted to observe these birds, to study them. But emotion won out, and each tear blurred my vision - into a richer appreciation.

Torah scrolls are made from white parchment and black ink. Both components are made according to incredibly extensive and detailed procedures. The legal requirements and process exemplify the height of rationality. Our mystical tradition, though, teaches that Torah is composed of fire. White fire and black fire dance together. Different scholars characterize these fires in multiple ways: as Torah here in our world versus Torah in heaven, as loving kindness juxtaposed against truth, etc. All the interpretations, and there are many, share the underlying premise. Rationality is insufficient to understand Torah fully, so transcendent emotion and feeling must also play their part.

So are rationality and emotion contradictions? No. Instead, there are times when an emotional response is the only rational response. Reading Torah, learning the vocabulary, cantillation, and even the script, all are an intensely rational process. I experienced the honor of reading at my son’s bar mitzvah. I was profoundly suffused with feelings of gratitude, pride, and connection. Maybe a tear lurked in my eyes…. And as I chanted, with slightly obscured vision, I could see the letters of black fire dance across the page of white fire in a joyous harmony. The vision was near-overwhelming. It is the blend of rationality with emotion, whether marveling at Gulls or reading Torah, that honors our fullest capacity and richest response.