Red-eyed Vireo : Absalom! Absalom!

This is a Red-eyed Vireo. It’s one of the most common birds in North America - and also one of the most unknown. They typically stay high up in trees, shrouded by dense foliage. Listening will serve you better than looking. This particular photo is a good one, precisely because it’s not a “good photo.” A “baseball card” photo: unobstructed, well-lit might provide an idealized image, but it’s a sight you’re unlikely ever to encounter. Instead, I’d recommend a photo like this one, warts and all, because it more accurately portrays the bird’s empirical presentation in the world. If you want to know the reality you’ll experience, this photo offers practical preparation rather than artistic conceit.

I didn’t understand the story of King David and his son Absalom the first time I read it. I callously saw their lives as an indulgent father giving too much latitude to a scheming son. The son ends up dead, and the father is devastated. It is not an easy tale. But put in the context of other dynastic narratives, it’s easy to dismiss them as just a precursor for Game of Thrones. Absalom’s ambition and David’s dotage make for a toxic mess. I, inexperienced and superior, couldn’t understand David’s inability to see the “real” Absalom. Like David’s troops who defy orders and kill the usurper, I saw the threat clearly and wondered why there was any doubt about the necessary remedy. How could David miss the so-obvious?

Being both a father and a son, I now for good and ill have more empathy for David’s fatherhood. How do we reconcile unconditional love with the necessary firmness and boundaries that are for the benefit of our children? What interventions - and when! - must we impose to keep our children on the right path? These are not simple questions, and our history is filled with fraught relationships between fathers and sons. Malachi promises that the Prophet Elijah, the herald of the Messiah, will reconcile parents to children and children to parents. Until then, may we all see realities - whether of Vireos or relationships - so that we can acknowledge what is and not only what we wish to be.