Northern Cardinals : Unspoken Love

These are Northern Cardinals. A male and a female, a mated pair, calling to each other. For two years I have wanted to receive this photo. I have wanted to explore the fascinating dynamic they create. Cardinals typically mate for life. Both males and females sing, communicating with each other about food and children, territory and nesting - and who knows what else. Male and female have obvious differences but also obviously fit together. They are almost ubiquitously common and exceptionally beautiful. There is something resonant, almost compelling, in studying this couple’s life. What are they saying? How do they engage?

There is no more challenging story in the Bible than the binding of Isaac. Abraham unilaterally takes Isaac, his mother’s “Laughter,” to sacrifice on the mountain. The heartbreaking coda tells of Sarah’s death and Abraham’s loving mourning. Tradition fills in the narrative’s gap: Sarah died of a broken heart. Did her heart break from lack of love? No. Commentaries abound, and I find most insightful the notion that Sarah died from the excruciating gap between Abraham and her. She died upon realizing her husband never spoke to her about his plans. The silence between them, the lack of communication, the chasm of understanding, was the downfall of an otherwise blessed marriage.

How many of our own problems are the result of having said the wrong thing versus how many are the result of having said nothing at all? What misunderstandings did we allow to fester? What missed opportunities kept us from having a full and meaningful interaction? Of course it can be challenging to broach uncomfortable topics, but leaning in rather than walking away always leads to better outcomes and stronger ties. We are never well served when our relationships proceed on the basis of guesswork rather than explicit communication. These Cardinals call to each other, demonstrating a healthy pairing. Abraham and Sarah teach how a lack of communication leads to fatal heartbreak.