Black Phoebe : Crossing the River

This is a Black Phoebe. The bird is perched just inside the very southern border of Texas. And I’m standing at the very northern border of Mexico. To get the best angle for illuminating this photo, I “inadvertently” crossed the international border. Flying or even wading across the river was easy. In the moment, my singular concern was trying to get the sunlight behind me. These Black Phoebes are only rarely seen near my home, and the thought of offering a special bird like this, from such dramatic conditions, was very compelling. I deeply wanted this. I do hope you enjoy my first binational photo!

The river flowing through this desert gave rise to thoughts of Moses. The story of Moses is without parallel in Western civilization. After decades of selfless leadership, on the cusp of fulfilling the mission to which Moses has devoted his life, he is told that he will not enter the Promised Land. He will not cross the river. This is a narrative of heartbreaking “If only’s….” If only Moses hadn’t struck the rock. If only HaShem had granted pardon. Countless questioners and commentators have mined Moses’ denial for insights into leadership, forgiveness, and acceptance. Moshe Rabeinu, Moses our teacher, what a wonderful title he merits!

I am no prophet. And a fortiori, I am no Moses. What does it mean that I crossed my river? I accomplished my goal. I got it. In this shemitah year, thinking of agency - and Moses - I understand more the most humble man who ever lived. His poise, grace, and equanimity dwarf material achievement. Moses teaches us - can we learn? - what it means to transcend any sense of entitlement, any sense of earned reward. I offer this drash with a generous and giving intent, but it is not untinged with an artist’s pride. It is not selfless. From these middle years until my full span of 120, clearly I, like the Phoebe, have yet another frontier to cross.